TOM GREEN VS OLD MAN

LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!

Tom Green interviews many people on the streets and most play along with him or ignore him. Enter the Old Man. The old man was the exception to the normal Tom Green Show "Victim". Instead of playing along, Old Man went psycho on Tom. Some speculate that he was drunk, others speculate that he had a mental condition. I think he was just really old and crazy. After the episode containing this segment ran, the interest in the Old Man began. Who was this old man? Why was he having such a bad day?. Tom was being nice to him, but he was being really mean. Below is a complete transcript of the meeting between Tom and the Oldman. Tom's comments will be highlighted in GREEN. The Old Man's comments will be in normal WHITE. AJ's interesting comments will be colored YELLOW.

 

 


>> COULD YOU TELL ME
WHERE YOU'RE GOING?


>>NO, IT'S NONE OF
YOUR DAMNED BUSINESS!

>> REALLY?

>>IT IS

>> CAN I GUESS
WHERE YOU'RE GOING?
IF I GUESS, WOULD YOU TELL
ME IF I WERE RIGHT OR NOT?


>> WHERE TO?

>> THE PARLIAMENT BUILDINGS

>> BULLSHIT TO YOU!
I'M NOT GOING THERE.

>> LET ME GUESS AGAIN.

>> YEAH.

>> TO THE BANK?

>> NO.

>> YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
THE PARLIAMENT BUILDINGS?
DO YOU LIKE THEM?


>> I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE.

>> WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

>> I DON'T THINK THAT IT'S
ANY OF YOUR DAMNED BUSINESS!

>> I KNOW IT'S NOT.

>>(angrily) >> DO I ASK
YOU WHERE YOU'RE GOING?
ANSWER MY QUESTION,
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

>> I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

>> C'MON, ANSWER
MY QUESTION!
( mic whistles)

>>IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMNED
BUSINESS WHERE I'M GOING!

>> SORRY.

>> DO YOU WANT TO
START SOMETHING?

TOM>> I DON'T WANT
TO START ANYTHING.


>> COME BACK HERE,
I ASKED YOU A QUESTION.
WHERE THE HELL
ARE YOU GOING?

>> NOWHERE, JUST WALKING
AROUND, TALKING TO PEOPLE.
I DON'T WANT TO
FIGHT, JUST TALK.


>> I'M WARNING YOU.
DON'T YOU ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS
'CAUSE I'LL NAIL YOU ONE.

>> OKAY, WHY DO
YOU WANT TO HIT ME?


>> YOU'RE INTERFERING
WITH MY BUSINESS.

>> I'M JUST TALKING.
I'M NOT INTERFERING
IN YOUR BUSINESS.
I'M SORRY.
I'M NOT INTERFERING
IN YOUR BUSINESS, OKAY?


>> TAKE A FLYING FUCK!
TAKE A FLYING FUCK!!

>> TAKE IT EASY.

At this point, some innocent bystander walks by, and attempts to intervene.. his color will be RED

>> WHO THE HELL ARE YOU

>>IM MYSELF..

>> DON'T GET INVOLVED.

>>GET OUT OF HERE.

>>I DON'T WANT YOU
INVOLVED IN
IS.

>> DO YOU WANT ME
TO TAKE THREE OF YOUSE ON?

>> I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU'RE MAD AT ME.
I JUST WANTED TO KNOW
WHERE YOU WERE GOING?


>> I TOLD YOU IT S NONE
OF YOUR DAMNED BUSINESS.
GO AND TAKE A FLYING FUCK.

>> A FLYING...?

>> FUCK: F-U-C-K.

Would you like to hear Tom and the Old man talking about Flying Fucks?
PUSH PLAY:


>> YOU'RE BEING
RUDE, I'M NOT.
YOU'RE CHASING ME
.

( old man says some gibberish )

>> BLAH BLAH BLAH...(Tom mimicks the oldmans gibberish).YOU'RE ON
THE OFFENSIVE.
I JUST ASKED
A NICE QUESTION.


>> YOU ASKED A NICE QUESTION,
I GAVE YOU A NICE ANSWER.

>> YOU DIDN'T,
YOU ATTACKED ME.
I'VE ASKED 100 PEOPLE TODAY
WHERE THEY WERE GOING.


>> GO AHEAD AND ASK THEM .....

>>BUT NOBODY HAS DONE THIS TO ME.

>> IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMNED
BUSINESS WHERE I'M GOING.
IF IT WERE,
I'D TELL YOU.

>> DID YOU HAVE
A BAD DAY, TODAY?


>> WHAT KIND OF DAY
IS THAT?

>> THE OPPOSITE
OF A GOOD DAY.


>> WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

>> YOU SEEM LIKE
YOU'RE IN A BAD MOOD.


>> WHEN SOMEBODY COMES UP
AND ASKS ME WHERE I'M GOING,
AND IT'S NOBODY ELSE'S
BUSINESS BUT MY OWN...

>> I KNOW.

>> DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

>> I KNOW IT'S NONE
OF MY BUSINESS...


>> THEN WHY ASK ME?


( scuffling )

>> LET GO, NOW.

( scuffling continues )

>>JUST GIVE ME
THE MICROPHONE.



>>WHAT ARE YOU DOING?


>>ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? (camera-man Ray asks)


>>GIVE ME THE MICROPHONE.


>>ALL RIGHT?
CALM DOWN.


>>CALM DOWN.




>> HERE, YOU WANT THIS?
COME AND GET IT.

>> I DO WANT
THAT, ACTUALLY.


>>IS IT WORKING STILL?


>>IS IT WORKING, THOUGH?


>>CAN YOU HEAR ME?


>>CAN I HAVE THAT BACK?
OH, HE'S BREAKING IT.


>>OKAY.


>>WELL, IT WAS NICE
MEETING YOU.

>>NICE MEETING YOU.


>>OKAY.

>>NICE TALKING TO YOU.


>>GLAD TO HAVE MADE
YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.

>>STILL WORKING?
( tap, tap )...ALL RIGHT.


>>OKAY, HERE COMES THE BREAK
BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.


( applause )

WONDER WHO THE MAN BEHIND THE BLACK BAR WAS?

YOU GUESSED IT: FRANK STALLONE