FAVORITE TOM GREEN SEGMENTS

Here are some of my Tom Green segments/moments from the past, and from the current "Comedy Network" shows. I have been a fan of the show for a while, and have seen all the "best of" episodes that Rogers Toronto played, as well as many of the original one hour live shows from Rogers 22 (thanks Dave Allston). I have showcased a few segments below, as well as giving some of my favorite segments there own special page. Check out the Tom Green show "Episode Guide" as well. So far completed are; the "best of" Rogers 22 shows that were played in Toronto, and the first/ second season of the show on the Canadian Comedy Network. Most of Toms television appearances, and soon to follow.. the MTV shows.

THE GUY WHO GOES UHHHH (1976) ROGERS 22
This is an older segment that really sticks in my mind as being funny. It starts out with Tom walking around Ottawa in the dead of winter moaning, groaning, and saying UHHHH. People look at him like he is nuts (as usual). He follows people to a near by bus stop, he walks by people in line, all while facing the camera in his winter outfit, and saying Uhhhh. This continues for a while; then we cut to young Tom having a meeting with a movie producer (Derek Harvie). Toms sitting on the casting couch, and hes making faces and giggline. Producer Harvie tells Tom that he thinks he is great, and that they want make a movie based on "The guy who goes UHH". Unfortunatly Tom isnt in the running for the lead role; and that honor goes to a young go-getter played by Trevor Kavanaugh. Tom is sad, but continues to make silly faces at movie producer Harvie. Derek tells Tom what funny faces he likes, and Tom repeats them. The segment ends with Trevor in the dream role "The guy who goes UhHhh". Trevor assumes Tom's place on the cold streets of Ottawa; moaning, and making people feel very uncomfortable.

MY KINDA MEAT ROGERS 22
Again, a classic example of TOM GREEN humour. The segment begins with Tom at a table in a darkened room. He is very calm, and happy; but that will soon change. In front of Tom is a table, and on that table someone places a plate full of MEAT. It looks like a chunk of beef roast, but I exactly be sure. Tom sniffs the meat, and starts to change.. into what you ask? A MONSTER!. "My kinda meat" Tom says.. "Its my kinda meat". Next a package of liver is placed in front of Tom, and Tom rips it open and starts massaging it. "ITS MY KINDA MEAT". Tom yells, Tom screams, Tom makes silly faces. He starts banging the table, and tries to flatten the meat with his bare hands, instead he knocks over a near by candle, and almost starts a fire. "Starting FIRES.. I dont care.. I dont care..". The table gets knocked down, and Tom continues to make noises, then he splits. The meat made him crazy.

FOLLOW THE PORN ROGERS 22
If you are not familiar with this segment.. you should be ashamed of yourself. Tom and Derek are looking for an alternative to playing Street hockey, and videogames.. so they decide to play a game called "Follow the Porn". Taking place on a major highway in the Ottawa region, our heros quickly find a pornographic magazine in the near by ditch. Marking off a dividing point in the gravel, Tom makes his, and a far distance away Derek makes his: The playing ground has been established. Placing the Porno mag in the middle of the playing field: The game is ready to begin. Tom and Derek shake hands, and wish eachother "a good game". As the cars zoom by, the porno mag travels too and fro. This is the game. The magazine blows off the road, so the game is paused while the magazine is placed back in the playing territory. "Are we allowed to touch to porn now?" Asks Derek Harvie.. "The answer is Yes" answers Porn Master Thomas Green. The magazine is placed back, and soon the game is heating up. Derek almost wins, but 2 massive trucks blow the magazine over Toms dividing line, and Tom wins the match! Good Game guys. Derek ends the segment with an idea for a snack while playing the game. "Take an orange slice it in 2, and then slice it in 2 again.." A handy snack idea!. Derek throws the porn back into the ditch, so the next children that want to play the game can have a chance.