By now, Tom Green is a house hold name. Ok, maybe not a house hold name, but he sure is getting there. With fame comes television appearances, and from his humble entrance just over one year ago on Mike Bullard, to his most recent guest appearances on American late night television.... Tom has come along way. Here the appearances will be highlighted Open mike with Mike Bullard first major talk show appearance (ever) February 1998 Tom appears for the first time live on national television. Before Tom's Comedy Network shows had even aired, Tom was invited onto the then new Mike Bullard show, which was taped in front of a live studio audience in Wayne Gretzkys restaurant; downtown Toronto. On his press tour, Tom had taped himself to a pole in front of the Eaton center in downtown Toronto, and also done several interviews for local newspapers. On Bullard, Tom talked about the new show and the basic premise behind it. He came armed with a clip of the ScubaHood segment...which I thought was fantastic. The people who showed up for the taping were for the most part hard core Rogers 22 show fans.. the taping of the show was basically completely full. Along with normal show fans, many sucky fans showed up that day; including the Lettuce Fags, and a whole bunch of "fans" that had dressed up in lame costumes. Tom seemed happy enough to have a decent fan base in Toronto, but Bullard wasnt impressed by them.. however Bullard did make fun of them.. so that wasnt bad. I sat behind Derek "Sex Offender" Harvie. Here we have our first Tom Appearance: Derek Harvie Sighting. See Captain Harvie in the front row? (bottom left), and 2 rows behind: AJ Tom suprised everyone by pulling out Milk bags, and after asking Bullard to video tape him, proceeded to cover himself in milk, and even ran into the crowd to cover some of the fans. During the commercial break the Open Mike staff was none to pleased.. cameras had gotten sprayed, and the wood floor was also covered. If they thought that was bad, wait until the dead racoon. Trivia: When Tom sprayed himself with milk, he gave his videocamera to Bullard so that he could film it. That footage is now part of the intro to Toms new video "Something smells funny". After Bullard filmed the milk spraying at the show, Tom said that he would give Bullard a camera operator film credit. Tom didnt. back to the top   Open mike with Mike Bullard third appearance. November 1998 One of the most talked about talk show appearances ever! This was Tom's third Bullard appearance in one year (Canada has a small talent pool) and was defiantly a great show. I attended this taping (as I did all of the Bullard shows), but this one took place at the new Mike Bullard studio. A new set, but the same jokes. Melissa Dimarco from Canadian show "Riverdale" was on, followed by Tom who joked about being back on the show, and meeting Mike while on the cross Canada tour that had happened only months prior (while shooting footage for the comedy network season 2). The interview seemed to be pretty funny, but then the unthinkable happened. Tom had a surprise for Bullard. It was rotting, and had come out of Rigor Mortis quite a while ago. It was a dead raccoon., and its name was Racky; the shows new mascot. I could smell the thing in the studio audience, and it almost made me throw up.. Tom didnt seem to mind the stench, but Bullard couldnt take it. He later ran out side and threw up in the alley outside. Melissa took it pretty well. Tom held Racky by the tail, and chased her around briefly. Her breasts jiggled (not the raccoons). Tom later tried to shave it, saying that Derek had forgotten to make it look nice. The set was cleared, but the cameras kept rolling. Tom continued babbling about the raccoon., how he wanted it to look nice. Tom also had another present that he didnt get a chance to give to mike. It was a plastic vagina, and looked to be a good prop (tid bit: it could be seen the day after on the "Off the Record" taping). After they cut for commercials the floor people had to come out and spray the set with disinfectant, along with wiping down the desk. Bullard came back from barfing and flubbed his lines for introducing the next band. That was scrapped. The second take saw Tom leering into the cameras view making faces.. Bullard got upset and grabbed Tom by the head and threw him on the floor behind the desk. It was all real, and wasnt staged. A memorable moment, maybe even legendary. Back to the top     Open mike with Mike Bullard fourth appearance. May 1999 This appearance was, I think.. a good will gesture on Toms part to Canada for not having any new episodes, and putting Canada behind him for a time, while he tries to make it in the states. The show went well, I attended again, lots of fans showed up this time.. most notably annoying teenage girl. Wow, when did Tom become a backstreet boy? I thought you had to be over 18 to watch the show.. guess not. No training bras were thrown at Tom, but plenty of screams.. and one horribly embarrassing song was sung to Tom about he being a gorgeous man. It was like Tom stopped when the girls sang it.. HORRIBLE. The first part of the interview (didnt know their would be a second part initially) was Tom apologizing for his previous appearance with the dead raccoon (as shown in the above post). This time Tom had presents for Mike contained in two suit cases.. Bullard feared it was merely a present sawed in half. Tom spent the better part of 5 mins attempting to open the suit case, after his planned attempt to chainsaw it open didnt work. The chainsaw wouldnt start. The audience was left waiting as Tom tried many times to start it, and attempts by even Bullard who failed. Finally some stage hand handed them a razor, that they used to cut open the suitcase with. Inside were flowers and a box of chocolates. Aww. Tom was just trying to be nice OK. He gave the flowers to Mike, who planted one of his famous show kisses on Tom. Big mistake, Tom took the hint and french kissed bullards ear, followed by humpin' mike on top of his desk. After Tom, came newspaper columnist Jan Wong. She was on to promote something or talk about something, but Tom instead screwed her entire performance by stealing the spotlight. He wouldnt leave her alone, going in for phantom kisses and acting like .. well like Tom. Jan wong couldnt concentrate and couldnt pay attention, it was FUNNY. Later it was revealed that during Toms attempts in 1998 to promote the new show, she snubbed him (she writes a column in the paper where she interviews celebrity's over lunch.. in Toronto). Maybe this was Toms revenge? It certainly was better that he did this.. cause she sounded boring. THE AFTERMATH OF THE SHOW... Well for openers, Effie the teacher brought the Glenn Humplik doll to the taping. Bullard picked on her during the opening monologue, I liked when he burned her for using a dummy to take up a seat, while some poor Tom fan was left outside of the taping. Twas funny, and hey.. Glenn Humplik. After the show, the lounge was the place to be! Tom stuck around for almost an hour signing autographs and talkin with the fans. Those annoying teenie girls abused Tom quite a bit, making him sign just about every useless piece of crap they had with them. One made Tom play the piano with a rose in his mouth.. that was funny. But the rest sucked. Me and my brother played the Tom Green show theme on the piano (as seen above). Effie grabbed a ton of Tom photo ops, and they are her pictures. I didnt pose for anything with Tom, but I think it would be a good idea if I did this the next time he was in town. Back to the top   Open mike with Mike Bullard fifth appearance. November 1999 This marked Tom's 5th appearance on the Open Mike show, and proved to be his best appearance yet. Glenn Humplik and Phil made their debut talk show appearance on this very night, and made the appearance that more special. When Tom was introduced, he came out under the studio audience seating section.. he found a ladder under the stage and brought it out onto the main set... before leaving it alone. Tom talked with Bullard for a bit, and then mentioned that Phil and Glenn where backstage.. they came out and took seats on the stage. Bullard asked Glenn about his job in "high-tech" with Computers, and Glenn mentioned his job is "Shift Return" related (computers), Tom mentioned "Shift F7" which prints in Word Perfect. Phils job is laughing, but he also is a self made millionaire (little known fact), and doesnt really work.. just hangs out and practices his laugh. Phil laughed on cue for Bullard and Tom. The guys told a story about how they were clicked out of a local Toronto night club.. turns out it was for doing this very erotic dance seen above. Grinding male buttocks together and feeling one anothers peenies isnt considered nice in this town. Tom explains the entire Canadian flag burning incident.. And sets the record straight. He did it to lure Glenn to move down to the states because he misses his good friend. Tom gets turned on and starts humping Humplik, while Phil laughs off to the side. What is that? you want to hear the audio portion for Toms comment on the flag issue? Well HOLY CRAP.. I happen to have the real audio file to stream.. or download.. The clip shown was one of the greatest ever seen on Bullard. While in Las Vegas, Tom took Glenn to a marshmallow factory because Glenn likes marshmallows. While inside, the men get a guided tour of the plant.. They come upon a vat of unused Marshmallow stuff, Tom pics up a bit that has been air blown, and starts sucking on it.. And treating it like his own manhood. A crass clip, and thats what Tom Green clips are sometimes about. It was some funny shit..After the show, Tom left for LA, and Glenn and Phil left for Ottawa.. they were on a strict schedule. As an added bonus, this marks my (AJ) second major talk show audience appearance. As Mike Bullard cut up a guy who dressed up as "bread head" I noticed that I was sitting in front of said stooge, and noticed the side of my head. I peered into the cameras view making a slack face. Is that the Pretender/A Romulan behind me? I dont know!. My friend Dave can be seen to my left (your right) smiling away. He didnt know he was on camera at first. If you want to see my first talk show audience appearance.. check out the time I was on "Camilla Scott", man that was good times! back to the top