Garage band televison

Here are the complete listing of ROGERS 22 "best of" episodes shown in Toronto (97-98). They are collections of the best segments and moments from the original shows that were shown in Ottawa. Rogers Television hired show director Ray Hagel to take elements and highlights from the original Ottawa one hour episodes, and create 7 one hour episodes spanning the shows 3 year run.


1. Wrestlers (Phil & Derek) -Intro- Embarrass Sarah (the floor director) -The Internet (bread)- Flowered Rug- Stereo Giggles- Wrestlers (what is going on here!)- Celebrity Watching- Keeping Fit- The guy who goes UhHhh (1976)- Physics bum- Sk8 city- Derek covered in donuts- The Canoe Trip- Beating up Tom- Harassing people -burning Humpliks shirt- Rumble in the byward- old lady- dubbing voices- toilet paper- spot the water tower- da funky Humplik rap- Tom is DA pimp player-


Stereo Giggles (Tom encounters a woman who cant stop laughing. Closeups of her laughing are looped, and gradually zoomed in on her teeth.)

Celebrity Watching (One of the funniest moments, a young man and his mother walk the streets of Ottawa. He looks like dead cult leader from Waco Texas: David Koresh, and she looks like the old woman from "Throw Mama from the train".. starring Billy Crystal and Danny Devito)

Keeping Fit (Tom introduces us all to the world of being physically fit. We see Tom working out in the basement of his parents house, where he works on his tri ceps and biceps, as well as eating a bunch of skin cream. Tom over exhearts himself and screams each time he does the various activities. Toms dad comes downstairs and tells him to move his car.. he screams more)


2. Broken Humplik's glasses (revenge of the nerds)- Intro- Talking with Glenn- Wooden boys- Tom running around in the streets- Get rid of the body- Follow the porn- The History of Pottery/Porcelain- Pick up your garbage!- French Clowns- Street sign hidden- Guitar guy- Cardboard!- Posters/Wallers- Humplik: Insurance Adjuster- Rapping with Phil- Yellow sweater lady- Hairstyles for men- the people we meet (flaming heads)- Clever Trevor- Feed my tumor- weird photographs- rogers promo


Follow the Porn (a game created by Tom and Derek, placing a pornographic magazine on a highway, and each player claims a side of the road, when the porn blows over to that players side.. the other is the winner)

French Clowns (Tom and Derek record a comedy skit in French. They both speak poor French... if you have taken grade 3 french in your life time you will under stand the level of French they speak.). "Mon ami cest fache.. "

Humplik: Insurance Adjuster (At one time Glenn worked for the Ottawa fire department doing insurance adjusting. In this segment Glenn dresses up like a fireman, and goes into a simulated burning building to rescue a dummy (tom), when the segment is over and humplik stops swearing he sits down to eat in the kitchen of the firestation, then dresses in a fire suit and gets blasted by a fire hose)


3. Skate boarding rogers disclaimer- Intro- Cafeteria fun- driving around- coffee shop fun- Burger King Humplik- UFO's- Humplik/Tom pizza guy ambush- bear is gonna kill me- screaming/skateboarding- Mcdougall twins- Follow me Glenn (Glenn falls into the water)- Tom dies on street- Sprint champion- The magic box- Giving people drives- restaurant shootup- Bon Jovi at 3am- Ridau/Emvale shopping center- Tom Green dance circus (move it move it)- Street fun- running around car- Gaeton the Poetry Shovel

would you like fries with that
Burger King Humplik ( During a show intro Tom leaves the rogers studios, and heads next door to Burger King to order a burger.. on the way he tells customers that he is going to get something to eat. At the counter Tom becomes impatient and demands that a young man serving fries help him; the young man turns out to be Glenn Humplik who works at Burger King (the truth is revealed)

Tom dies on the street (While the scene is filmed from across the street on the roof, Tom walks by a busy section of street, and lies down playing dead. People initially stop and look, but eventually a crowd gathers with people calling for help etc.. Tom eventually gets up and walks away saying nothing


4. The Tom Green Segment Special -Redau canal hockey jumper- Turbot war- rumble in the byward- Treasure island theory- The Canoe trip- Human league dance- rooftop singalong- 3am friends for Tom's dad- weird guy- The pineapple (intro)- Mcdougall twins- 3am bagpipes- fight with Glenn- Scent posts- dog walks by- Vaseline eyes- 15 on a pole- Biological crossfire- Celebrity watching- Talking about Mike harris- Shaving Cream/toothpaste weird Tom- Giving people drives- Glenn & Tom hanging in the coffee shop- Humplik running naked-


The Canoe Trip (When Toms parents decide to go away for the weekend; Toms left in charge of the house. He figures painting the house plaid would be nice, so he does it. His parents are less than impressed when they get home. Notice Mr. Greens crooked glasses

3am friends for Tom's dad (When Mrs. Green leaves town for the weekend, Tom thinks that his dad is lonley and in need of company. At 3am Tom brings over some friends and a stereo; everyone has a party including the half awake daddy.


5.Germans care disclaimer- Derek's toilet- The search for C.H.U.D.- creamy hands- celebrity watching- Bag of milk in my pants- Talking about Mike Harris -Gloucester Leprechauns- autumn leaves- old people- Derek's toilet- Derek taking dumps- Emvale shopping fun (garbage and Hi kid)- Letter from Derek (smacking head)- Toms raft story- April wine concert- my skin feels soft Glenn- ordering food without a car- bug interview- tourists in Ottawa- Longest message ever left on an answering machine- Tom's Christmas special- You guys are great- pop can fun- Laughing guy- I outta ring your neck- Phil/Glenn's techno beat- Bread head- Toms drumming (the Brook)- Coffee for breakfast- Christmas special 2


Gloucester Leprechauns ( Tom and Derek dress up as Irish Leprechauns and hide out in Gloucester Hydro park. When cars drive by and are stopped at a red light, the leprechauns run out and dance around while the cars honk at them. The end of the segment Tom and Derek dance around a young man who passes by the park... he too honks)

The Tom Green Show Christmas Special (Just what it says, Tom has a christmas spectacular on the show. He talks to himself, having various conversations including: Buying pancake mix at the dollar store (then pouring it on himself), talking about people who live on an island who have sold out since they own a windmill, and finally pouring water on his face and trashing the set.. )

Pop can fun (Tom has hours of entertainment while playing with a single pop can on the streets of Ottawa. He plays and plays, and in the meantime harrases some women and the public)


6. Glenn eats 12 donuts disclaimer- Intro- Tom & Phil fight crime on the streets- 3rd Tom Green segment ever (rooftop dance)- covered with flour- the basement sessions- Letter from Derek (waxie)- Lucien Buchard isnt in the mood to joke- Turbot war- Songs from the basement (donkey, British smoking song)- The mom song- have you got a problem?- Subway guy (the snake)- Tom & Glenn's first date information- Its my kinda MEAT- James bond car- Glass eye interview (peekaboo)- Searching for Ottawa's biggest idiot- People we meet (the Indian guy)- Car stuff- Promo- Skiing on bread- I wanna buy a bag- pretty boy Glenn gets more sleep than Tom- Detergent on Tom- Looking for the Antlers of the Humpliks


Glenn eats 12 donuts intro/dislclaimer (The guys have a donut eating contest before the shows disclaimer, Hump stuffs his face .. and the final score becomes: Glenn 12 donuts. Tom one donut. and Phil 2 donuts. Granted Tom and Phil were to busy laughing at Glenn to eat..)

3rd show Segment ever (basically Tom plays around on a rooftop in Ottawa, almost falling off a few times. He interviews some people asking if they were afraid of heights.. and the talest building they had ever been on. The segment is cool because its the third segment ever

Hockey Guy (Dressed as Hockey Guy, Tom interviews Quebec Leader Lucien Bouchard. Tom asks if the Quebec Nordiques will be seperating from Canada.. he replies "Oh its a joke.. im not in the mood to joke.." then that phrase is looped about 8 times. Another scene shows Tom jumping off an olympic sized diving board into a pool.. in full hockey gear

Covered with Flour (Tom and Glenn discuss how to become a member of the studio audience. Its free. Its one 3rd as entertaining as a movie.. what a bargain! Introduction to the basement sessions)


7. There was an episode that started with Trevor, and Darcy talking backwards.. I didnt get a chance to tape it when it was originally played. However I will tape it next time I can. I know you are sad, but lets talk about something to fill in this space. Nothing really stands out in this episode, I think maybe they played some of the above stuff. But if Im wrong, its a shame. It doesnt look like they will ever be playing these again, so Ill have to get this episode off a friend that I know who has it.. he isnt a big tom green fan anymore, so I hope he didnt tape over it

Sundays at 11 on Rogers