I wrote this...
Hey Derek..

Just read your review for Dawn of the Dead, good choice! this is one of the best horror movies ever! (until the bikers break into the dream mall at the end and ruin everything)
believe it or not, I didn't think anyone had the same dreams I do about zombies.. But I have found out that you do also!
My dreams arent nightmares at all.. because I always have a shotgun, and lots of drunk friends around. We usually steal a bunch of guitars or whatever, and blast some zombies away
I have mailed you before, but you have never mailed me back. thats ok I said hello to you at Bullard.. and when you had that last free ticket I thought you would throw it and make us all jump for it.. but instead you put it on the door hinge .. and those small girls that were standing around had to jump for it.. giving me a nice chest show
thank you.

do you have anything important that should be included in a bio? because on my page I have one for you.. I just want to make it complete

mon aime cest fache

And if you thought my email was totally tubular, check out DEREKS!
Hey A.J.,

Glad you liked the film. Did you ever see Day of the Dead? Sort of a disappointment. If you and some buddies want to come up to Ottawa this summer, I'll save some tickets to our tapings for you.

Derek.

I wrote this.
after harv had written to me to tell me that he liked the site
Woa! hey Derek.. whats up?
so you think my page is good? that kicks ass! thanks for visiting it. I know you guys are real busy with the upcoming 2nd season. Do you think my idea for the "Little Tom Green show" with midgets is any good? or is it just plain silly.
I still have to add an animated gif of the old man when he is telling Tom to take a flying fuck.. it will look pretty funny!
seeya

By the way.. You met Natalie when you and Tom were downtown. She and her friends tagged along with you guys when you went to get Lebanese food. how was that? is she too obsessed? I heard she mentioned me.. hehe

ok bye, AJ

Derek wrote, and answered the part about Natalie...
Hey A.J.

Ya Natalie mentioned you...she's seems nice. Her page is pretty major too. Maybe you guys could put our camper ad on your pages. Its hilarious if someone actually decides to lend us a vehicle for a month. Asking for it seems crazy! Maybe we'll be flooded with "offers" and we'll have to choose the most hilarious van...

Derek.

Before Derek was to move to NYC with his new wife, he offered fans the chance to take props and show related swag from his house that he had been collecting over the years
I emailed him with this
Hey derek,

AJ here,

what kinda stuff do you have in ottawa available?
I could send natalie that you met in the Lebanese restaurant last year, and maybe she could pick me up some swag
for my site.. anything would be good ..I guess you dont have the model that you and tom made out of skinnys woodchips anymore do you?
good luck in NY, and dont get mugged

Now for Derek's reply.. and you should first read a news item I had written in a previous news update.. to understand Derek's state of mind. Check it out Here
Stressed out and upset, Harv answered back
hmmm,
I checked your site recently and noticed an attempted burn about my 32 dollar bid for an atari. also, doesn't your friend natalie hate our show?
are these the people whom i should donate these items to??
i guess they are. sorry, the wood chip thing was left with the guy at the mill.

Derek

Attempting to calm the stormy seas, I sent Derek this peace offering
Derek,

yea it was a pretty sucky burn, but I dont really have much material.. and I like to include you as much as I can in my site when I get some material, and I happen to be bored on ebay and saw yr auction.. saw some material in the rough.. etc

I bid on some old jabba the hutt crap, and I always get outbid. Basically that thing I wrote was to point out that these things are going for way to much money. I mentioned Natalie because she lives in Ottawa, Im trying to turn her back to the show, she didnt like the animal stuff, so Ill hook her up with the mtv shows all will be good

sorry if you didnt like my website stuff

seeya aj

I didnt get a reply. I sent another message to Derek.
hey Derek

howse it going?

did glenn tell you to check out my site with the whole "fued" thing ?
people email me all the time asking for updates.. its pretty silly I updated my news today with some derek harvie related pics hope you find them funny,
(this was the pornographic Horace Harvie picture..)
remember you are in the funny buisness

I was saddened by the reply.
Hey A.J.,

I hate you and want you dead.

Derek Harvie.

July 27, 1999. A dark time for both AJ and Derek.
From July 27 1999, through December 13 1999 many events had transpired. Derek became more successful at his job and in life.. and had some time to enjoy being married. AJ on the other hand suffered with the death mark placed upon his head by televisions own Derek Harvie.

One cold day...on December 13, it all changed.
For the first time.. Derek emailed me

Hey AJ,
How are you? I'm trying to find an old segment called British Cigarrettes or something like that (Tom in his basement). Do you have tapes of the old shows?

I did in fact have this segment that Derek wanted. Imagine that, Derek being nice.. no more death threats, no more hating me, I had got back from a cold day at work, and my heart was enveloped by the warmth that is a Derek Harvie email. I replied, and got a message back shortly

how many tapes do you have?
if i give you our fedex account number, can you ship them to me so i can dub them and send them back? i'm trying to gather everything we've ever shot. i have betas of most of the rogers stuff but the station taped over some of our old masters.
anyway, let me know what you've got. thanks a lot,

derek.

I was stoked (is that word still used?.. whatever happened to cowabunga.) I was going to be doing Derek a favor, a major one. I dont like sending original crap in the mail, so I was going to make SP copies of some stuff that he needed, and I would have a fedex number to use to send them. I still had work to do, but in the end..it wouldnt really matter. Derek would not be heard from for a long period of time.

Weeks later, I mailed Derek. Asking him if he still needed the stuff.
Like a trooper, he replied

January 9, 2000

yeah, i'll email you on monday.
(do you like my letter? i'm a writer!)

derek.

One month later.. I once again forcibly opened the lines of communication
need..
more..material..
for..
letter from derek.. page..

it will be monday soon
aj
--

Guess what? Miracles never cease when you know Derek Harvie. He replied!
And, it sure was an interesting reply.. check it out!

hey aj,

someone else emailed me today about writing for their website (tgcenter.kebie.com) he sent me some questions and i answered them. i thought, instead of having to write 2 things, i'll just send you what i wrote for him. (sorry, i don't have the questions, just my answers):

1. more people watch it and we have a bigger budget.

2. my job is harder than in canada because the stakes are higher here and we have to think a lot harder about what we're showing on tv and how to not get arrested.

3. i can't say what it's about. it's a comedy.

4. one week, while we were still on rogers ottawa, phil and i were drinking at The Brig in the market with tom and glenn. phil was drinking labatt's wildcat and some how, he and i started a heated argument about which would win in a fight. i think the bear would tear the little cougar apart. tom and glenn were laughing and the next week we taped phil and i arguing for the show. a month later we devoted an entire episode to the debate. that was four years ago and i haven't changed my mind, although phil seems to be sitting on the fence, finally!

5. she's a friend of ours and we'll miss her when she moves to new york.

6. we've done a lot weirder stuff since nypd green. we just spent 5 days shooting a segment about a wooden bookshelf.

7. nypd green.

8. umm, i don't know. maybe i'll hover around 90 or 91 one for a while, then we'll see.

9. i think the humplik is in new york. i've got the other one in my office. i also have a plant. it almost died, but kris brown and i poured coffee all over it and it's recovering.

10. playstaion hockey

11. i can't say the shows are tamed. we don't saw dead animals in half anymore... but that's because we got bored of it and moved on... to throwing dead babies off a cliff and at reflective highway signs.